


Happy Valentine's Day

by anotherbuskitten



Category: Hawkeye (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-28 01:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2714444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherbuskitten/pseuds/anotherbuskitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She used to be the only thing right in my life. Sometimes she still is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Valentine's Day

He’s still in love with her sometimes: when he hears her footsteps or sees her smirk. When Jess is nowhere in sight and she is scowling.

When she licks her lips or fidgets in long meetings.

When dawn is breaking and he can hear birdsong.

These moments are when he loves her.

/

He doesn’t really notice that his feelings towards her never change in the way hers do. Even when they’ve separated and he doesn’t see her except for missions. He doesn’t notice he’s still in love even when Jess kisses his cheek and spirits him away to bed and afterwards they get coffee and he thinks she’s pretty and has a nice laugh.

He doesn’t see it as dating; they meet and they chat and they fuck but it isn’t anything real because he remembers loving and marrying Bobbi within a week and never not thinking about her and this isn’t like that at all. So it can’t be dating.

He implies these feelings one day in a fight and she slaps him and slams the door and maybe she was crying on the way out but he isn’t sure because he doesn’t know what he did wrong.

/

Bobbi’s laugh is rough and her jokes are crude and she’s only graceful in a fight.

/

_Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re officially divorced!_

She doesn’t look particularly emotional about it. Disappointed in him, yes, but when was the last time the women in his life weren’t?

He goes back to bed and pretends that none of it ever happened.

/

He wants to ask her out again. Well, for the first time, really. But he wants to try again and do it right.

 _“We’re adults now. I’ve grown up; I’ll do it right this time.”_ He wants to say but he doesn’t and instead they both get caught up in life and he’s forgotten it again until he finds the divorce papers under an empty mug and cries.

He wants to say, _“I love you. I never stopped. I’m sorry.”_ He doesn’t remember the last time he apologised sincerely.

He wants to say, _“I regret you the least of everything.”_ It’s the truth which is another thing he hasn’t said in a while.

He wants to be able to kiss her and her to kiss back.

/

 


End file.
